you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
