hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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