he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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