Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
