Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
