When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
