You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
