I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
