1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
my shit smells like andre
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
