i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize