why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
