Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
