Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
