I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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