I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
