just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
