Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
