you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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