pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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