A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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