No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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