Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
