My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
