don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
