why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
