i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Randomize
