the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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