The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
