He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
