Quick, to the slutcave!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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