If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
