wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
