you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell