Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.