Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
