she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
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bring money and cleavage
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
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To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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