she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
