I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I am midnight drunk by noon
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
