He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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