Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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