your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
