New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
