The maid of honor just puked.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
