Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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