How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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