hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
