He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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