THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
please come you make the beer taste better
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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