im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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