she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
