Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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