This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
