You're so nebulous sometimes
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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