as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
