I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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