so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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