He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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