I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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