I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
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We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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